Sitting in bed, listening to a playlist of my favorite music, emailing a close friend about some of the struggles I’ve had with my faith recently. The song “A City on Our Knees” comes on by Toby Mac. The first line: “If you gotta start somewhere why not here?”
And immediately, I know. I have to start somewhere, and why not here? Tonight’s the night. So here’s the scoop. The main reason I haven’t been posting in, like, forever? Um, major struggles with faith, that would be why. I’d rather not get into the gritty details. Suffice it to say, I was asking questions I could not answer, questions that no one but God Himself can answer, and this side of heaven I don’t think He’s going to. Either my faith was pretty weak or God knew it was time for remodeling, because that was apparently all it took. Those questions just started eating away at my trust in God. The rest of the scoop is that they still are. You know, I read a lot of Christian fiction, and I’ve watched a lot of Christian movies, and there’s a common theme that--to be blunt--irritates me: the overnight fix. The revelation moment. That moment where everything changes, things become crystal clear, the character’s past struggles are erased. Why does that irritate me? Two reasons. 1- I’m a snob when it comes to books and movies because I write so I compare my abilities with those who wrote the book or screenplay and somehow decide I’m better, at least in such-and-such and so-and-so aspects. 2- It’s not real. It’s. Not. Real. I’m sorry to burst the bubble, but I’ve had a lot of bubbles bursting and it’s just a fact of life. That fact being that most problems, faith problems being no exception, do not fix in one moment. Perhaps they come to light in one moment. Or a solution light-bulbs into your mind in one moment. But unless I’m the only one who has long-lasting issues, the mending of whatever has been damaged, the escape from the confusion or doubt or pain, that will take time. So here’s what you know about me and my current circumstances: I’ve had major faith issues. I’ve still got major faith issues. I’m writing on a Christian blog like I’ve got a clue anyway. Lack of credentials, anyone? That’s just it, though. Gotta start somewhere. My “faith-issues”, as I’ve dubbed them, have not gone away but they have been a little less obnoxious as of late. The grass is looking a bit greener. So why didn’t I get back to posting sooner? Or why didn’t I post while I was in the middle of my faith-issues, and use them as a learning experience I could share with other Christians? I’ll tell you why. Because I wasn’t ready to start. I’ve read/heard about the concept of not waiting to start your new life for Christ, of starting now. Most of us probably have. I always thought it applied to, say, becoming a new believer. Perhaps someone who wanted to become a Christian but thought it would be better to wait and try to wipe away the dirt in their life with a dirty sleeve, like we all do. Or perhaps someone who’s already a Christian and decides they need to change some things about how they live, but, “maybe I’ll just deal with this little thing first”. That’s the type of situations I’ve always thought start now applied to. Turns out, the scope is a bit wider than that. Because here’s my situation. My faith was attacked and seriously hurt. It’s no longer receiving fresh wounds, and I’m sloppily applying some bandaids and coconut oil, but I’m not re-strengthening my faith. I’m not picking up the sword I dropped and fighting back. I’m still cowering. Waiting for the next attack. (Excuse the dramatic language, sometimes I just can’t help myself.) Why? Why would I willfully choose to cower? Well why does anyone cower? Because they’re scared. I’m scared that if I try to get back up, I’ll just get knocked down again. It’s happened before, after all. These faith-issues weren’t a weekend low, they’ve had residence for some months now. It’s not as if in all those months, I never tried to get back up. I did. . . and got knocked down, even harder than the last time. So here I cower. Because cowering isn’t so bad, right? I’m kinda comfortable right here. I’ve got a system going. I believe in God, I outwardly behave like ‘any good Christian’, I go to church, I fire up a few awkward prayers now and again. Me and God have come to an ‘understanding’, I inwardly claim. It’s really not so bad. Things are a lot easier when I’m cowering, rather than when I’m getting attacked, or when I’m sprawled on the ground. But, I probably don’t need to tell you that cowering isn’t okay. I can’t cower and accomplish anything. I can’t cower and stand up for God at the same time, now can I? That’s why I have to get up. That’s why, even though wounds are still fresh, there’s still enemies nearby who might attack at any moment, I have to start. I have to get up. They say if you fall off a horse, you just gotta get back on. Well, if you get knocked over in your faith, you just gotta get back up. As many times as it takes. Slight catch, though. “Getting back up” seems like another one of those quick-fixes. “Oh, you get knocked down? Well just get back up! Simple as that!” No, not simple as that. If it were simple I would have done it by now. I’m injured, I’m scared, I’ve lost a lot of my armor. Getting back up will be no easy task. It will take time. (Rather like getting out of bed) You might think that if I’m writing this post, I must be pretty close to standing up again, right? Nuh-uh. This post was literally a spur-of-the-moment urge. Who knows if I’ll build up the courage to actually read my Bible in the morning despite the possibility that I’ll encounter new questions I can’t answer. Who knows if one of my faith-legs will give out as soon as I put weight on it. I might be flat on my face again an hour from now. (Well actually, it’s getting to be late. Hopefully my face will be flat on the pillow an hour from now) I might not post again for another several months. Gotta start somewhere. That’s the raw reality. That yes, getting up will be hard, I might fail several times before I manage it. Yes, I might get knocked down again as soon as I get up. Yes, it’s easier to stay cowering. But if I’m going to get my faith back, I gotta start somewhere. I can’t wait until wounds heal, because they won’t, not while I’m cowering. All I can do is keep trying, keep striving toward the goal. After all, I may have lost my armor and my weapon. But the God of the universe is at my side and I hear He has spares.
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Posted by: Abby
So often I find myself doing things that I shouldn't be, or doing something when I could be doing something else that has a better purpose or is more edifying. But a lot of the time don't do anything about it. A lot of times it's small things . . . the music I listen to, the games I play, the sites I visit. There's a song, "If I Were," by Andy Gullahorn, I and I believe it explains this problem quite thoroughly. We are all constantly struggling against our flesh and the powers of darkness. Satan will use anything he can to catch our attention and pull us into temptation and sin. Anything from the opposite sex to the amount of time spent on a game. I'm not sure if I've spoken about this on the blog yet, but I believe it all comes back to balance in Christ, and in the things around us. Let me put it this way: Jesus and God are perfect. We are supposed to reflect our Savior, Jesus. When something is perfect, I think it's safe to say it's also completely balanced. Therefore, if we strive to be more balanced in our own lives, perhaps we can gain a better understanding of perfection and become more like our Savior. I do not propose an immediate answer to the struggles we all face everyday. I don't have a cure, other than looking to our Savior and asking Him to guide us and strengthen us and perfect us, balance us. This post is more about exposing the fact that it is so easy to fall into sin and that even the things we think are harmless may not be as powerless as we think. A few verses to back this up: The heart is decietful above all things, and desperately wicked. Who can know it?" Posted by: Anna
My last post was inspired by some of my experiences at TeenPact staff training last week. This post is inspired by staff training, and by actual staffing. . . and by a whole slew of experiences over the last several years. And what is this post? It is, simply put, about how personality affects faith and vice versa. For anybody who doesn't know me very well, I'm a major introvert. For anybody that does know me pretty well, I am a major, MAJOR introvert. Like seriously, I'm really introverted. There's these tests that tell you how introverted or extroverted you are by percentage. Well, I almost always score in the nineties for introversion, and I personally think that's underestimating my reclusive abilities. Another thing about me- I'm a bit of a nerd about personality types. I don't have a degree or anything, but I've read a couple books and I enjoy researching the topic. Plus if given the opportunity, I will ask what your Myers-Briggs type is and grill you on it, if I work up the guts to actually speak to you, that is. Alright, I'll try to focus on the actual subject now. Basically, I'm going to be talking about being a Christian introvert versus being a Christian extrovert. Mostly I'll be keeping it to the differences between introversion and extroversion, but I might bring in some of the other cognitive functions that the MBTI is based off of. And also, before I start, disclaimer: this is all speaking generally! In reality, there's a lot of variety between extroverts and a lot of variety between introverts. So when I say that "extroverts are friendly", or "introverts are great listeners", I'm saying that as a general rule, most extroverts are friendly; and as a general rule, most introverts are great listeners. Of course there are exceptions. But, now to it! The other day, I was reading an article about book-writing (I do that a lot, since I write books). Specifically, it was about writing extroverted characters. Because you know what? There's a bit of a trend for introverted protagonists, I think. I'm as guilty of it as anyone. The three main characters in my fantasy trilogy are introverted. This article was giving some thoughts on that point, and offering advice on how to write a realistic extroverted character. Because, as the author pointed out, when a writer does write an extroverted character, they have a tendency towards portraying them a certain way and falling for certain stereotypes. On that topic, the author had this to say: All bullies are extroverts, but not all extroverts are bullies. It got me thinking. Yes, it's true that a shy person really can't be a bully. That just doesn't work. So yeah, the bullies of the world are extroverts. But guess what? So are the friendly, warm people that make you feel welcome within seconds. Let me tell you, I as an introvert do not have much for a disarming, hospitable charm that makes me impossible not to like. Not that an introvert can't have that. But, fact is, extroverts are friendlier than introverts. All this brings me to my main point: Different strengths. As I've gotten older and become more serious about my faith, I've frequently run into a little hitch: evangelism. The very word makes me feel uncomfortable, sometimes. Evangelism is, by tradition, a very outgoing, aggressive, zealous approach at bringing others to Christ. And if you were to take all the adjectives that can be used to describe a person and make a list with those that describe me best at the top and those that describe me worst at the bottom, then outgoing, aggressive, and zealous would be pretty darn close to the bottom. I hear evangelism, and I think going door to door, or asking the person in line with you at Walmart if they know Christ. Both those things sound absolutely horrifying to me. And I can tell you without a doubt that I wouldn't be effective at them. But, evangelism is considered such a big part of being a Christian. That's why it threw me for a loop. I'd hear a sermon or speech that ended with some sort of motivation toward evangelizing, and I'd be sure I was a terrible Christian. Because I will probably never, in my entire life, strike up a conversation with the person in line with me at Walmart about where they are spiritually. An extrovert, though? Not to generalize, but an extrovert can do that kind of thing. An extrovert enjoys meeting new people, and enjoys talking. So why wouldn't they introduce themselves to that person in line with them, and start talking about their faith? Let's consider the introvert, though. What do they contribute to Christianity if they can't manage evangelizing? A lot of things, actually. An introvert has some serious powers of observation, philosophy, and understanding. Not to say that an extrovert doesn't, but introverts do have a tendency towards creepily watching people that results in us learning and comprehending a great deal, and we also are very reflective, spending quite a bit of time thinking about deep or abstract concepts. How does that play out? Well, consider the theological books you've read, or the books on prayer, or the books that inspired you to be more loving and compassionate. Chances are good that they were written by introverts. Not that an extrovert can't write. But the reason a lot of protagonists in stories are introverts is because most authors are introverts. I do know extroverted writers, but the fact remains that introverts tend to communicate best through writing, so we often end up as the authors and poets of the world. Let me present a scenario here. Say I'm at a Christian event, with a bunch of other believers. Who is going to be the person that enthusiastically greets me and wants to get to know me and acts like we're old friends, making me feel welcome and comfortable? The extrovert. Who is likely to be the person that will perhaps be quiet and reserved when we first meet, but then will end up having an hour-long discussion with me in which they listen and offer gentle (if silent) support as I spill my heart? Quite possibly the introvert. Or, who is likely to be the person that inspires me in my walk with God, by being an example of kindness, joy, compassion, and love? Probably the extrovert. Who is likely to be my loyal confidant, the friend that I can share anything with, the friend that I might not hang out with much but is always there? An introvert, perhaps. Again, I'm being extremely general here. This is no hard and fast rule. Still, I can think of a handful of friends that are very extroverted, and that frequently impact me with how benevolent and joyful they are. And then I can think of a handful of friends that are introverted, who I can simply spill my guts to, or have a deep conversation with. Because we have different strengths. Extroverted Christians will be awesome at evangelism, and at motivating others for Christ. Introverted Christians will be awesome at getting deep, or lending a listening ear, or perhaps at writing a book that God will use to touch hearts. What I'm saying is this: Just because you can't evangelize in the technical sense doesn't mean you can't/aren't serving God. And just because you can't write a great book or aren't the best listener doesn't mean you can't/aren't serving God. It's just different strengths. Let's take it further. Between staff training and staffing, I discovered quite a bit about the differences between introverts and extroverts in that situation. At staff training, we actually learned about the MBTI, and all self-assessed ourselves and split up into our respective types. With the extroverts on one side of the room and the introverts on the other side, I noticed how yes, the extroverts can be a bit obnoxious and rowdy, or unfocused and outspoken. And yes, the introverts can be a bit aloof and withdrawn, or cynical and unfeeling. Generalizing, again, but you get the idea. The idea being that hey, we've both got issues. Or, I noticed how all the extroverts raise their hands during worship, or volunteer to pray, or having something to share during times of debrief. Does that mean they're better Christians than me? No. Or what about when the introverts listen attentively to the speaker, don't generally share anything but when they do it's way deep and profound, have a gentle way about them. Are they better Christians? No. Or how about even further, getting into the other cognitive function differences? Are Thinkers better than Feelers, since they're smart and can get philosophical, or are Feelers better since they're more empathetic and compassionate? Neither are better. Are Perceivers better than Judgers since they're not so strict and critical and can go with the flow, or are Judgers better because they can be organized and logical and get things done? No, both are good and bad in their own ways. An ISTJ might not be the most empathetic, kindhearted person you ever meet. But they'll be able to get a job done, and they'll have great integrity and responsibility. And ENFP might not get things done very well or be practical, but they'll be one of the sweetest, most enthusiastic friends you have. So how do you apply all this? The first step for me was to stop beating myself up about it. I'm an introvert. I'm never going to be a great evangelist. Doesn't mean I'm not a true Christian! Second step, not letting it limit you. I still struggle with this. The more I understand my personality type, the more I catch myself wanting to excuse my faults because that's just "part of who I am". True, but sin is sin is sin. Doesn't matter if your flaw is because you're a Judger, or a Sensor, or a Feeler. You still need to strive to overcome it. And, you need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. You're an introvert? Then go ahead and make yourself be friendly and welcoming. You're an extrovert? Then go ahead and let your friend do the talking for once while you just listen. Third, stop judging others for differences. Don't assume someone else isn't as devoted to Christ because they don't raise their hands in worship. Don't assume someone else isn't sincere because they're flamboyant. Finally, use your strengths. Everyone has different gifts, right? Well, I think personalities play into that. You're a bold extrovert that's smart, determined, and strategic? Help out a ministry that needs just such a leader. You're an introvert that's great at listening, great at offering encouragement and advice? Be the person your friends can lean on, or be a counselor even. You're an extrovert with great people skills, lots of charisma, enthusiasm, and an overflowing heart? Make friends! Bring people to Christ! Share His love. You're an introvert who loves to work and serve but doesn't want any attention, who has great practical skills and work ethic? Find a way to work behind the scenes, cleaning or setting up or organizing in the background. Here's what I want you to take away from this: serving God and furthering His Kingdom isn't limited to door-to-door evangelism, nor to writing a bestselling Christian nonfiction book. Sometimes, it's just being that happy, bright, caring person that lights up the room with Christ's love. Sometimes, it's just being that gentle, loyal, supportive friend that's a quiet example of devotion and humility. So you're an introvert? You're an extrovert? Great. Now, how can that help you glorify God and serve others? Posted by: Anna Last week, I had the incredible opportunity to attend staff training for TeenPact. There's definitely multiple lessons I could draw from the experiences to post about, and hopefully I will get to more of them in the future. Today, I want to share the one that probably stuck out to me the most. Ever heard of the White Rose Society? It was a group of students that opposed the Nazi Regime despite the consequences. A certain brother and sister that were part of the society had this to say about why whey were willing to die for the cause: "We are Christian, and we are German, therefore we are responsible for Germany." Think about that a moment. These courageous young people believed that because they were Christian, and because they lived in Germany, they had a responsibility for their country. Why is that? I think I've discussed in a past post how our life circumstances are not random. How God has placed each and every one of us where we are, with the people we're with and the problems we have and the strengths and weaknesses we possess, for a specific reason. I firmly believe that there is a reason I have the family I do, the friends I do, the acquaintances I do. I firmly believe there is a reason I have the personality I do, the interests I do, the issues I do, and the strengths that I do. And I believe just as firmly that the same can be said about everyone. With that in mind, consider that quote again. Sophie, the woman that said that, must have held the conviction that God had put her and her brother in Germany for a reason, making them responsible for Germany. At this point you've probably figured where I'm going with this. That each of us, as Christians and Americans, should have the mindset of: I am Christian, and I am American, therefore I am responsible for America. Yes, I do think we should have that mindset. But I'd like to take it several steps further. I am Christian, and I am ____________, therefore I am responsible for ______________. Fill in the blanks. What is it? What are you, and what does that make you responsible for as a Christian? There's lots of possibilities. I'll use one of mine for an example. As I said earlier, I'm going to be staffing for TeenPact in just a couple weeks. Since I was always--to some extent or another--the shy, quiet girl in the class when I was a student, I approached staffing thinking "Hey, maybe I can reach out to the other shy, quiet girls in the class, the way other staffers reached out to me." And then I heard this quote. It fits perfectly. I am a Christian, and I am an introvert, therefore I am responsible for introverts. Maybe it sounds silly. Because no, I'm not saying that simply because I'm one of millions of introverts, I'm responsible for the well-being or salvation or education of all of them. No. What I'm saying is this: God made me with a very introverted personality. Therefore, I should use that as an asset in helping other introverts. I should use it as a launch pad to minister to others. I think we can all agree that it's easiest to befriend, serve, or understand someone that we have something in common with. It is far easier for me to understand a fellow introvert than an extrovert. That's why I should consider the possibility that God has plans for me in that area. Not to say that I can't help out an extrovert or vice versa. All I mean by this is that we should be aware of what experiences, skills, or even weaknesses God has given us that we can use to help others. Think about it. Let's say you've lost a loved one at some point in your life. One day a friend of yours loses a close family member. Wouldn't you agree that you will be better equipped to comfort and aid them then someone who has no idea what that's like? Or, let's say you live in such-and-such state where such-and-such crisis has recently occurred. Who is more suited to make a difference there: you, or someone thousands of miles away that doesn't even know it happened? To sum it all up, God puts us through certain things or gives us certain traits for a reason. I have recently discovered what it's like to be 'in charge' of a household for awhile while my mom was recovering from a surgery. Because of that experience, I could now sympathize with and encourage someone else who is going through the same thing; whereas before I probably wouldn't have understood why it was such a big deal. That's why I think "simple" things like where you live, what types of things you're good at, what you've been through. . . all of those things are ways God can work through you. So what did you put in the blanks? Where should you be looking for ways to serve others and glorify God? What are you, as a Christian, responsible for? "Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him." - 1 Corinthians 7:17 Posted by: Anna As I've mentioned before, I've been attending TeenPact programs for three years now. Which kind of meant that I was either at the point of being done with state classes and only doing alumni events, or of trying for staff. I decided on the latter. It wasn't really an easy decision. The fact is, I'm extremely introverted and, yes, shy. Staffers are expected to be extremely extroverted and outgoing. So naturally, it was an intimidating prospect. Even just the phone interview was enough to make me hesitate to apply. But, I felt like God wanted me to take the step and apply, and He would then decide whether or not I'd get it. He decided I would. Now, staff training is in two weeks. And the actual class is in just over a month. Naturally, I'm starting to get a little stressed about it. . . so this morning, before I started reading my Bible, I prayed about it. Then I opened to Jeremiah since that's where I've been reading lately, and read chapter 17. Here's what it said. "Thus says the LORD: Cursed is the man who trusts in man and makes flesh his strength, whose heart turns away from the LORD. . . . Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is in the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." (17:5-8) This passage really struck home because when I thought about it, it rather accurately describes the type of person a staffer is supposed to be. They're supposed to be conspicuously passionate about their faith. They're supposed to be ready to act calmly and confidently when schedules change or plans fall apart (does not fear the heat or drought), remaining an example of humility, patience, kindness, and courage (leaves remain green), and they're supposed to make a powerful impact on the lives of the students (does not cease to bear fruit). So how do they do this? By trusting in God. I know it's "cliche" and a concept we've all heard before, but as I've said in other posts, reminders never hurt. I know the reminder didn't hurt me this morning, when I realized that: it's not me. It's God. I'm not going to make an impact on the lives of the students. God will do that, and will hopefully use me in the process. That's where the first part of the verse comes in. I can't trust in staff training, in reading the manual, in "mentally preparing myself", in my own abilities, or anything like that. Those all fall under the "man" and "flesh" categories. And while some of them, like reading the manual and staff training, are definitely things I should do and will help, they're just tools. They're guidelines. God is the only One who can truly equip me for His purposes in this or any area. He is the One who will supply me with just the right word of encouragement, prayer, understanding, or act to work in the heart of a student. If I go into the state class with the mindset of "I need to set an example, I need to remain mature and kind and confident no matter what, I need to demonstrate servant-leadership, I need to impact these students", then I will probably fail. I would be trusting in man and making flesh my strength. I'm not saying I don't play a role. I still have the responsibility to strive for setting an example and demonstrating Christian values. I have to be willing for God to use me. But I also have to realize that any success I have comes from Him, not me. Any impact I make is Him using me, not me using Him. Because in the end, I can't make a true, lasting impression on someone by myself. Only God can do that. And this doesn't just apply to staffing. It's fair to say that each of us will meet about 80,000 people in our lifetime. That's three new people each day that we interact with on average. In other words, you will probably have 80,000 opportunities to influence someone. Or, God has 80,000 opportunities to use you to influence someone for His glory and their salvation. That's a big deal, when you think about it. Which is why it's important that we make the most of it, and don't waste our time trying to be the force that makes the change, but instead be willing to let God do what He knows is best through and with us. To adopt the mindset of not me, but Him. "For it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure." -Philippians 2:13 Posted by: Anna When I was at ASAP a couple weeks ago (read more about it in the last post), we spent quite a bit of time around fires. In the mornings and evenings it was pretty chilly, so we often got to sit around a big fire during the message, or while we were singing. And every meal we cooked over a fire, and that took awhile. So all that said, it involved a lot of fires. And throughout the week, we talked about or I thought about a few different analogies between our Christian lives and fire. Some of them may seem pretty simplistic, but we all need to be reminded of simple things now and again, and you never know when something you've heard a hundred times will trigger a new realization. So here are five lessons from fire. It's a beacon in the darkness. Imagine something with me. It's the middle of the night. You're lost in the woods. You're cold, it's dark, you're frightened and unsure where to go or what to do. So you either hunker down and curl up in a ball, or you wander on. Let's say you were to suddenly spot a light, through the murky darkness. It's warm and orange- the glow of a fire. What do you think you're going to do? You're going to go to it. It provides warmth and safety and light and, since someone had to have started it, companionship. Can you see where I'm going with that? There's a lot of people in this world that are lost and wandering, don't you think? And those people generally have two ways to deal with it: give up and hunker down, hoping they can make it till morning; or wander on, with the possibility of finding their way out. As the light of Christ, we have the opportunity to light a fire that those lost in darkness can see and run to. We have the duty to light our torch and actively seek out those that have given up. That's why our actions as Christians are so important. Think about it. If we are mean, irritable, selfish, judgmental, greedy, or cold, will we give off the warm, welcoming glow that will draw the lost and wandering to us? No. We need to be loving, kind, hospitable, forgiving, and encouraging to do that. Be a fire for Christ in the darkness. Every element is equally important. I'm sure you're all familiar with the concept of one body but many members, and that the "lesser" members are no less important. Fire actually demonstrates this as well. Think of all the necessary components for a fire. You need tinder, firewood, and a match or other means of starting it. And guess what? All are just as vital. The tinder may not seem that significant, but trust me- putting a match to a log is highly unlikely to work. In the same way, the Christians that are like the spark that starts a fire need tinder--Christians that can catch the idea and turn it into a flame--for it to go anywhere. And then tinder needs logs, a.k.a Christians that can sustain the flame. A single ember can't last long by itself. If you take a stick with a little ember at the end from a fire, what happens? It dies out within a few moments. Now you can make it last longer, by using certain materials that will keep the ember alive longer, say if you need to travel with it. But, the fact remains that once taken from the fire, an ember can only last so long. We as Christians need each other--need the entire fire, or the Church--in order to keep burning. We can go out on our own for awhile, especially if we go prepared. In the end, though, we need the encouragement, counsel, and "sharpening" of our brothers and sisters in Christ. And, we're also more effective together. What's more likely to act as a beacon to outsiders- a little ember, or a whole fire? And what's more likely to withstand the wind and rain- a little ember, or a whole fire? Even just a few glowing coals can be flared back into a flame. After awhile, if a constant supply of wood isn't given to it, a fire will die down to glowing coals, right? It's easiest to keep a steady flame if you just keep up the wood stock. But sometimes, the fire will die down. And when it does, you'd be surprised by how few embers it takes to bring it back with just a little coaxing and tinder. There have been times in history, there will be times in the future, there are and will be times in our individual lives; that the "fire" of our faith dies down. The Church fades into the background, either from apathy or fear or persecution. I won't list the times it's happened- I'm sure you can think of some. In fact, it could even be said that to some extent, the Church is that way today. Which is why it's very good to know that we can be brought back to life. If we have just a few, stubborn coals, we can go from seemingly dead to blazing with life. We are refined by fire. Let's take a step back from the analogy of us being a fire as Christians. Instead, pretend that we're gold, or silver, freshly mined from the rock. At that point, the beautiful mineral of gold isn't so beautiful. It's not shiny and the color of brilliant amber. And it's certainly not in the forms we usually see it in, such as jewelry. No. It's crusty and dirty. Though it's valuable, it's not very usable. It's not until after it's been refined that it becomes beautiful and usable. How is it refined? By fire. Being refined by God is rarely easy or fun. I mean being put through fire, in a figurative sense? You wouldn't exactly expect it to be enjoyable. The whole point is to break down, to soften and reshape. And that requires heat and pressure. In the same way, we became most beautiful, and most usable by God, when He refines us- even if that refinement is difficult. So be on fire for the Lord! "For our God is a consuming fire" -Hebrews 12:29 Posted by: Anna I just got home yesterday after almost twenty-four hours of driving, that brought me all the way from Tennessee back here to South Dakota. And what was I doing in Tennessee? I was at ASAP. For those of you who don't know, ASAP is a TeenPact alumni event (and if you don't know about TeenPact, click on the "Where to Give" page and find out about it there). I've attended TeenPact Survival three times, but this year, I was talked into going to the Advanced Survival Adventure Program- aka ASAP. At Survival, we pretty much just learn about Survival, and don't actually do any surviving. The same could technically be said about ASAP. . . though I must say that with me being as spoiled as I am, it was practically survival. We slept outside in shelters we'd built out of all natural materials, we made all of our food over fires, we had no indoor plumbing except for the single toilet and sink us girls all shared (and that only worked half the time due to a water shortage). So yeah, to me, it might as well of been a survival situation. Especially since it was in Tennessee, lending to far more bugs and thorns and humidity and moisture than I'm used to. And for those of you who don't really know me. . . I'm a wimp. I love to hike, bike, climb, wade in creeks, etc. . . but I do not love to camp, or live right outside with the bugs, or just in general to go without showers and warmth and everyday comforts. So it was only by some serious persuasion from my friends that I went to ASAP. And even then, I went pretty reluctantly. Monday afternoon finds us at ASAP. By Monday evening, I'm totally regretting my decision to come. It was the first time I'd ever been that far away from home. And, it was also the first time I'd been that far from home and not had any of my family members with me. Between that and me not being the type of person that enjoys traveling, I was in for some major homesickness. Then I got a look at what sleeping arrangements would be like for the night. . . it didn't help. I already knew we'd be sleeping outside, but something about actually seeing just how very outside it was turned out to be pretty discouraging. So I spent the night contemplating what it would take for me to be able to go home early. Could I sprain my ankle, and my parents would be willing to come get me? Not very reasonable I know, but it was what was going through my head. Tuesday, I determine to just get through the week. It's only a few days, really- I can do it. As this is happening, I start having a nagging thought. Just about every time someone prayed, they thanked God for the opportunity to be out in His creation with fellow believers at ASAP. As I continually heard people expressing gratitude for being there, I realized what God was saying: While I'm over there whining and complaining, He'd laid out a wonderful week full of unique opportunities, in His beautiful creation and surrounded by my brothers and sisters in Christ. Wednesday comes along. Like at Survival, we have quiet time each morning. So in my quiet time, I decided not to just make it through the week, but to make the most of it. I told myself to be open to whatever good there was to be had, and to keep a positive mindset. And it worked wonders. Seriously. I went from wishing I could get injured so that I'd have to go home to enjoying each and every moment (okay, so there were certain moments where I was wet and cold and uncomfortable in the middle of the night that I didn't necessarily enjoy ;) ) of each and every day. By Thursday's quiet time, I was determined not just to find the good in the week, but also to find the good in the bad. And now I can say, the entire thing was good. All the discomfort ended up helping to make the week the amazing experience it was. One of the points some of my friends made when arguing why I should go to ASAP was the element of getting out of your comfort zone. We'd all read Do Hard Things, which talks about the importance of getting out of your comfort zone and therefore doing hard things. Now when my friends said that, I was pretty skeptical. The way I saw it, it was beneficial to get out of your comfort zone in order to, say, evangelize or reach out to an outsider or something like that. But to be literally, physically outside of your comfort zone? I didn't believe that would do much for my faith. But it did. It gave me a greater reliance on God. It showed me the importance of having a positive mindset and being open to the good in a "bad" situation. It gave me a new gratitude for things I used to take for granted, like hot showers and comfortable beds. (Hey. It may have just been a week, but let me tell you- we were all seriously missing such luxuries by the end of it) To sum it all up: I wanted to write this post to share what I'd learned about the power of a positive mindset. And that is that if you're open to it, God can use any situation--even one where you're wet and cold and homesick and reluctant--to bring about good in your life. In fact, I think that's why He puts us in those circumstances in the first place. If I hadn't gone to ASAP, I would have missed out on so much growth and learning, as well as fun and friendship. So getting out of your comfort zone and skipping out on showering for a week while sleeping outside really is an opportunity for God to work. Because you know what? By stepping outside of that comfort zone, you enlarge it. Now, next time I'm faced with a situation similar to what I faced in ASAP, it'll be a lot easier- making it so that I can step out even further. There's a lot of things I learned from this past week, and I'll probably write at least one more post that includes some of them. But I think the biggest was learning to be open to whatever God has for me, and finding the good in the bad and making the most of those opportunities, rather than avoiding them. In other words, getting out of that comfort zone, and keeping a positive, open attitude no matter where that leads you. "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." -Proverbs 17:22 ESV Posted by: Abby
So I know this is something that gets spoken on, or written about often. Thankfulness. I know that I've definitely heard plenty of shpeels (is that how you spell that word?) about being thankful for what you have and realizing that you have more than a lot of people out there. It's all true. And it's all good to remember. I don't know about you, but I've struggled with being thankful. Not really necessarily that I'm not thankful, but I just don't grasp all that God has really given me. A few weeks ago I was reminded of that very thing. I was at Youth Group and the speaker asked a simple question. "You do things for your family, right? Like give them gifts or notes or do things for them just because." I thought about it a little. I mean, yes I express my love for my family in words often, and I help out with the cleaning, and I spend time with them, but I couldn't really remember the last time I'd written them all a little note or given one of them a little present just for the sake of doing something for them. Today I was able to accomplish that goal, and it made me realize just how much God has given me. I have a loving family, a home, warmth, food, and a relationship with Him. I can't believe the things that God has given me, even when I don't need or deserve them. I know that you have probably heard plenty of speeches, and rants about how you should be thankful for everything, but I just want to challenge you today to take it seriously. "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful." Collosians 3:15 "Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe," Hebrews 12:28. Isn't that last verse beautiful? Not only do we have all these earthly things to be thankful about, but we also have our relationship with Jesus, our Salvation, and the Kingdom of Heaven that we have inherited to praise God about. I want to challenge you to stop whatever you're doing right now, close your eyes, and think of ten things that you're thankful about. And why you're thankful for that thing. When you're finished, send a small prayer up to God praising Him for all He's afforded you. God has given us so much to be thankful for. So much for us to give Him glory for. "I will give thanks to the Lord because of his righteousness; I will sing the praises of the name of the Lord Most High." Psalms 7:17 Posted by: Anna This time last week, Abby and I were at TeenPact Survival. In fact, it would have been only a few hours earlier from this time that we would have just had the experience I'll be basing most of this post on. This was my third year attending Survival. And, my last. I'm truly thankful for how God has used Survival (and other TeenPact events) to work in my life, but I've also come to the conclusion that that period is over. . . and hopefully a new one is starting. I'd like to be a TeenPact staffer in the future. We'll see if that's a door God chooses to open or not. Meanwhile, I had another great week at Survival. I can't say it topped last year. . . and I knew it wouldn't, because last year was pretty unbeatable. I can say, however, that it was a learning experience and full of blessing. The fact that it wasn't quite as exceptional of a week as last year actually had a lot to do with that learning. It taught me something about praising God: that it should happen from the rising to the setting. 5am. We're all sound-asleep in our bunks, in our cabins, when the whistle starts blowing and people start yelling and banging on our doors. Ten minutes later, a rather sleepy, disoriented, pajama-clad group of teenagers is gathered up. We're given a few minutes to get into more efficient clothing and grab things like our water bottles, then we're on our way to we-knew-not-where. It was a difficult hike. None of us had much of a clue as to where they were taking us- only that it was uphill, very uphill. And of course it's dark, we're all a little groggy, some of us perhaps not too happy at haven been woken up so early. In the end, we were taken to the top of a tall hill, which affords an incredible view. No longer tired or grouchy, we all gather together and worship the Creator of such a beautiful scene. We had a front-row seat to view the sun rise over the horizon, and it just so happened to peak over just as we were singing the verse "bright shining as the sun" from "Amazing Grace". It was awesome, at the full meaning of the word. After singing and praising God, we all had some time to do so privately: to sit and take in the view while diving into God's words and praying privately. That has to be one of my favorite quiet-times I've ever had. In a setting like that, it was easy to feel God's presence, to inwardly shout His praise, to be awestruck by what a mighty God I serve, and that out of such an immense and impressive world, He loves little, worthless me. I decided to read some Psalms, skimming through for those pertaining to God's glory or His works and things like that. Reading those passages hit home more than usual. But one in particular stuck out to me. "Praise the LORD! Praise, O servants of the LORD, praise the name of the LORD! Blessed be the name of the LORD from this time forth and forevermore! From the rising of the sun to its setting, the name of the LORD is to be praised!" -Psalm 113:1-3 ESV It was pretty easy to praise God right then. I mean how could you not? But what about other parts of the week, where I was feeling a little homesick, was annoyed with someone, or so cold/sore it was hard to be enthusiastic about whatever we were doing? Was I praising God then? Because the verse didn't say to praise Him at the rising of the sun. It said from the rising of the sun to the setting. From morning to evening. All day, every day, from this time forth and forevermore. Rain or shine. I'm sure you've heard something like this before. I'm not presenting some new, unique idea that'll transform Christianity, that's for sure. But really take a moment to think about it. How often do we only praise God when it's easy? And here's the other big part- when I say praise, I don't mean just worship. Perhaps better would be the word glorify. Because that we definitely don't do. When was the last day that you glorified God in everything you did, from the rising of the sun to the setting, whether or not it was easy? As servants of the LORD, we are to glorify and praise Him from the moment the sun rises to the moment it sets. Need some motivation? Think of this. I don't think there's probably ever a moment that God just kind of "forgets" about you. Where He gets distracted by some other issue in the world and forgets of your existence. Nope. He's omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient, and "omni-attentive", I believe. And the Bible tells us He cares for the sparrows, and knows the number of hairs on your head. So if the God of the universe, who certainly has bigger fish to fry than you and me, never stops loving and caring for you. . . shouldn't we do the same for Him? If you ask me, that alone is plenty of reason to strive to praise Him from this time forth and forevermore, from the rising of the sun to the setting. "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth! You have set Your glory above the heavens. . . . When I look at the heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place, what is man that You are mindful of him? The son of man that You care for him?" Posted by: Anna I've spent the last couple weeks trying to come up with something to post on, occasionally getting on here only to have my mind go completely blank. I do have a topic now, and a cup of coffee, so I'm going to give it a go. That topic actually has a lot to do with why I started this website, about a year and a half ago. I've loved writing for as long as I can remember. For the most part, I write fiction. That's what I enjoy the most, and probably what I'm best at. But, I decided some time ago that any amount of gifting I had in the area of writing was from God, so it should be used for God. That's where this website comes in. It's not fiction, so hence the long periods where there isn't a new post because I just can't muster up the inspiration for one! All the same, I do feel like this is something God would have me doing. That said, I frequently struggle with a certain question, and I know for a fact that I'm not alone. That question is: "What on earth could I possibly accomplish for God? How can/will He use me? What do I have to offer?" Am I alone? Didn't think so. Before I get into it, warning! I'm pretty sure this is going to be a little unorganized and will probably drift over multiple topics. Sorry about that! To prevent it as much as possible, I'll do this in points. Point 1. The first thing I want to look at in regard to this question is the biblical concept of gifts. It just so happens my pastor has given a couple sermons on that recently. So let's head to 1 Corinthians! "Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. For to one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are empowered by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as he wills." -1 Corinthians 12:4-11 ESV That's a long one, but I had to share the whole thing so we could pick out different bits of it. First up: God is the Giver of these gifts, and He gives them as He sees fit to each one of us individually. He decides what gifts He wants what person to have. That in and of itself is pretty cool- think about it. That means that whatever gift(s) God has given you, weren't just by the roll of a die. He specifically chose them for you. Second: A variety of gifts. Not all of us will be prophets or speak in tongues, not all of us will have the utterance of wisdom, not all of us work miracles. That's an important thing to understand. We'll go more in depth on it in just a moment. Third: "For the common good". Also a biggie, that will be coming up later on, so keep it in mind! Basically, here's the conclusion of my first point- yes, God does give us gifts that we can (and should!) use to glorify and serve Him. I believe that everyone has such a gift, whether they realize it or not. Which leads to. . . Point 2. Variety. I think it's safe to say that God has a thing for variety. Look at all the things He's made. Wouldn't you agree there's a variety of animals, a variety of plants, a variety of landscapes? And a variety of people. We're all unique. It's the same way with gifts. There's denominations that think if you can't speak in tongues, you aren't actually saved. That would put a great many of us out of luck! I sure can't speak in tongues. And I can't prophesy, and I can't work miracles, and I can't distinguish between spirits. And I used to think that was pretty much all there was when it came to biblical gifts. They were these awesome, unexplainable, superpowers if you will. It just so happened that most of us didn't have a superpower, since most of us couldn't speak in tongues, and that was what the spiritual gifts were to me. Now I realize, there's a lot more than that! Check out the gifts listed before that. "the utterance of wisdom", "the utterance of knowledge", "faith". Unlike tongues or miracles, those could be called 'unimpressive'. They're not quite so supernatural. And yet they are gifts, and I'd say they're more along the lines of what most of us get. Check out some more, from Romans. "If service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness." -Romans 12:7-8 ESV Service, teaching, exhortation, giving, leadership, mercy. Those are a lot less fantastic than prophecy and healing. A bit more realistic. And yet they're gifts, and they're important. They're very important. Which again, we'll get to more in awhile. And even then, I think you could take it further. The lists given here aren't exclusive. Think of David's mighty men, in the Old Testament. "Might" and, say, "strategy" aren't mentioned by Paul. Yet wouldn't you agree that those are the gifts God gave to and used in those men? Or how about non-biblical examples. I could probably come up with quite a few famous Christians that were undeniably used by God, and yet none of them could prophesy or speak in tongues. Things like music, skills in public speaking, administration, hospitality, those can all be gifts too. Point 3. The importance of each gift. Something kind of confusing in the 1 Corinthians passages on this is 12:31, which says: "But earnestly desire the higher gifts." That makes you think that Paul is saying yeah, you should want the 'better gifts', like prophesy or healing. Turns out, that's not what he's saying. That's how we translate it. But in truth, the statement is indicative, more like an accusation. It should read as "But you earnestly desire the higher gifts". Taken like that, it makes a lot more sense. Instead of having Paul contradict himself as he first says repeatedly tells the Corinthians to stop being envious of flashier gifts, and then says that they should desire those gifts; it instead becomes him repeating that they have the wrong idea. Which leads us to the conclusion that we shouldn't be envious of those gifts that seem cooler and better! That in fact, every gift has its place. It is just as good and necessary as the next. That's where the analogy of the Church being one body with many members comes in. And I know you've probably heard that a lot, but take a moment to think about it. If you take it seriously, than that means we really are all vital to the body, even if our gift may seem subtle. Think about it. Imagine life without one, two, or even all four of your limbs. Or even just without a hand or foot. Without ears, maybe. Possible? Yes. As effective, enjoyable, efficient? No. And as Paul points out, it's often the 'lesser' parts that play some of the biggest roles. Think how often you use your hands and feet! And here's something else. If things like mercy, service, and leadership are gifts, then you can easily find their significance in different Bible verses. After all, the Bible tells us frequently to serve. It speaks of the importance of mercy. It tells of how we should lead. What are the qualities that we most often find listed as the things us Christians should strive for? Miracle-working, tongue-interpreting, mountain-moving? Nope. Righteousness, faith, peace, hope, steadfastness, so forth. Think about it. Think of someone you know that has one of those gifts- perhaps they have the gift of hospitality, or of encouragement, or kindness. Hasn't that impacted your life? I have a friend, who actually inspired this post, who is probably the sweetest person I know. And she's also a great model of godliness. And you know what? She's really been an example to me. God has definitely used her in my life! So yes, it's easy to admire those impressive, showy gifts. But if everyone in the church had only those, what would ever get done? If everyone could speak in tongues and work miracles, sure, there would be some perks. But what if there's no one with the knowledge and wisdom to explain Christianity to those outside the Church (or those inside)? Or if there was no one with the kindness and friendliness that makes outsiders feel welcome? Or nobody with the gift of serving the homeless and orphaned and hurting? The verdict, then? That you don't have to be able to speak in tongues. You don't even have to be a great worship-leader, or someone able to run an organization, to be used by God. He's given you the gifts He wants you to have. And as a bit of a side-note, I wouldn't necessarily say that you will get one gift, and that's it. God may give you a different/new gift at some point for a specific task. In any case, He'll equip you for His plans for you! Point 4. His greatness, not our own. That great friend of mine? She had a great way of wording this, so I'm going to quote her: "I'm not the one who needs to be great and talented. God's got that covered! It's through His greatness that anything good can come through me." I think she got it pretty well, so I don't even have to expound! Point 5. The last point I want to make: That we should use our gifts to serve others. Paul not only says that we shouldn't be envious of the gift of speaking in tongues. He actually implies that really, that gift isn't all that it's cracked up to be. It's good, of course. But he makes the point that the only thing tongues accomplishes is you communicating (without even necessarily understanding) with God. It doesn't involve helping others at all. "For the common good". Or, from 1 Peter 4:10, "As each as received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God's varied grace;" Let's sum it all up. God has graciously given us different, varied gifts, which we should use to serve Him and others. Each gift is important. And it doesn't matter if we have talent or skill, God can use us. So just because you aren't running an orphanage, or prophesying, or playing in the worship team on Sunday, doesn't mean God isn't using you. He will put you just where He needs you, and give you just what you need, to help accomplish His perfect plan. |
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