Posted by: Anna
My last post was inspired by some of my experiences at TeenPact staff training last week. This post is inspired by staff training, and by actual staffing. . . and by a whole slew of experiences over the last several years. And what is this post? It is, simply put, about how personality affects faith and vice versa. For anybody who doesn't know me very well, I'm a major introvert. For anybody that does know me pretty well, I am a major, MAJOR introvert. Like seriously, I'm really introverted. There's these tests that tell you how introverted or extroverted you are by percentage. Well, I almost always score in the nineties for introversion, and I personally think that's underestimating my reclusive abilities. Another thing about me- I'm a bit of a nerd about personality types. I don't have a degree or anything, but I've read a couple books and I enjoy researching the topic. Plus if given the opportunity, I will ask what your Myers-Briggs type is and grill you on it, if I work up the guts to actually speak to you, that is. Alright, I'll try to focus on the actual subject now. Basically, I'm going to be talking about being a Christian introvert versus being a Christian extrovert. Mostly I'll be keeping it to the differences between introversion and extroversion, but I might bring in some of the other cognitive functions that the MBTI is based off of. And also, before I start, disclaimer: this is all speaking generally! In reality, there's a lot of variety between extroverts and a lot of variety between introverts. So when I say that "extroverts are friendly", or "introverts are great listeners", I'm saying that as a general rule, most extroverts are friendly; and as a general rule, most introverts are great listeners. Of course there are exceptions. But, now to it! The other day, I was reading an article about book-writing (I do that a lot, since I write books). Specifically, it was about writing extroverted characters. Because you know what? There's a bit of a trend for introverted protagonists, I think. I'm as guilty of it as anyone. The three main characters in my fantasy trilogy are introverted. This article was giving some thoughts on that point, and offering advice on how to write a realistic extroverted character. Because, as the author pointed out, when a writer does write an extroverted character, they have a tendency towards portraying them a certain way and falling for certain stereotypes. On that topic, the author had this to say: All bullies are extroverts, but not all extroverts are bullies. It got me thinking. Yes, it's true that a shy person really can't be a bully. That just doesn't work. So yeah, the bullies of the world are extroverts. But guess what? So are the friendly, warm people that make you feel welcome within seconds. Let me tell you, I as an introvert do not have much for a disarming, hospitable charm that makes me impossible not to like. Not that an introvert can't have that. But, fact is, extroverts are friendlier than introverts. All this brings me to my main point: Different strengths. As I've gotten older and become more serious about my faith, I've frequently run into a little hitch: evangelism. The very word makes me feel uncomfortable, sometimes. Evangelism is, by tradition, a very outgoing, aggressive, zealous approach at bringing others to Christ. And if you were to take all the adjectives that can be used to describe a person and make a list with those that describe me best at the top and those that describe me worst at the bottom, then outgoing, aggressive, and zealous would be pretty darn close to the bottom. I hear evangelism, and I think going door to door, or asking the person in line with you at Walmart if they know Christ. Both those things sound absolutely horrifying to me. And I can tell you without a doubt that I wouldn't be effective at them. But, evangelism is considered such a big part of being a Christian. That's why it threw me for a loop. I'd hear a sermon or speech that ended with some sort of motivation toward evangelizing, and I'd be sure I was a terrible Christian. Because I will probably never, in my entire life, strike up a conversation with the person in line with me at Walmart about where they are spiritually. An extrovert, though? Not to generalize, but an extrovert can do that kind of thing. An extrovert enjoys meeting new people, and enjoys talking. So why wouldn't they introduce themselves to that person in line with them, and start talking about their faith? Let's consider the introvert, though. What do they contribute to Christianity if they can't manage evangelizing? A lot of things, actually. An introvert has some serious powers of observation, philosophy, and understanding. Not to say that an extrovert doesn't, but introverts do have a tendency towards creepily watching people that results in us learning and comprehending a great deal, and we also are very reflective, spending quite a bit of time thinking about deep or abstract concepts. How does that play out? Well, consider the theological books you've read, or the books on prayer, or the books that inspired you to be more loving and compassionate. Chances are good that they were written by introverts. Not that an extrovert can't write. But the reason a lot of protagonists in stories are introverts is because most authors are introverts. I do know extroverted writers, but the fact remains that introverts tend to communicate best through writing, so we often end up as the authors and poets of the world. Let me present a scenario here. Say I'm at a Christian event, with a bunch of other believers. Who is going to be the person that enthusiastically greets me and wants to get to know me and acts like we're old friends, making me feel welcome and comfortable? The extrovert. Who is likely to be the person that will perhaps be quiet and reserved when we first meet, but then will end up having an hour-long discussion with me in which they listen and offer gentle (if silent) support as I spill my heart? Quite possibly the introvert. Or, who is likely to be the person that inspires me in my walk with God, by being an example of kindness, joy, compassion, and love? Probably the extrovert. Who is likely to be my loyal confidant, the friend that I can share anything with, the friend that I might not hang out with much but is always there? An introvert, perhaps. Again, I'm being extremely general here. This is no hard and fast rule. Still, I can think of a handful of friends that are very extroverted, and that frequently impact me with how benevolent and joyful they are. And then I can think of a handful of friends that are introverted, who I can simply spill my guts to, or have a deep conversation with. Because we have different strengths. Extroverted Christians will be awesome at evangelism, and at motivating others for Christ. Introverted Christians will be awesome at getting deep, or lending a listening ear, or perhaps at writing a book that God will use to touch hearts. What I'm saying is this: Just because you can't evangelize in the technical sense doesn't mean you can't/aren't serving God. And just because you can't write a great book or aren't the best listener doesn't mean you can't/aren't serving God. It's just different strengths. Let's take it further. Between staff training and staffing, I discovered quite a bit about the differences between introverts and extroverts in that situation. At staff training, we actually learned about the MBTI, and all self-assessed ourselves and split up into our respective types. With the extroverts on one side of the room and the introverts on the other side, I noticed how yes, the extroverts can be a bit obnoxious and rowdy, or unfocused and outspoken. And yes, the introverts can be a bit aloof and withdrawn, or cynical and unfeeling. Generalizing, again, but you get the idea. The idea being that hey, we've both got issues. Or, I noticed how all the extroverts raise their hands during worship, or volunteer to pray, or having something to share during times of debrief. Does that mean they're better Christians than me? No. Or what about when the introverts listen attentively to the speaker, don't generally share anything but when they do it's way deep and profound, have a gentle way about them. Are they better Christians? No. Or how about even further, getting into the other cognitive function differences? Are Thinkers better than Feelers, since they're smart and can get philosophical, or are Feelers better since they're more empathetic and compassionate? Neither are better. Are Perceivers better than Judgers since they're not so strict and critical and can go with the flow, or are Judgers better because they can be organized and logical and get things done? No, both are good and bad in their own ways. An ISTJ might not be the most empathetic, kindhearted person you ever meet. But they'll be able to get a job done, and they'll have great integrity and responsibility. And ENFP might not get things done very well or be practical, but they'll be one of the sweetest, most enthusiastic friends you have. So how do you apply all this? The first step for me was to stop beating myself up about it. I'm an introvert. I'm never going to be a great evangelist. Doesn't mean I'm not a true Christian! Second step, not letting it limit you. I still struggle with this. The more I understand my personality type, the more I catch myself wanting to excuse my faults because that's just "part of who I am". True, but sin is sin is sin. Doesn't matter if your flaw is because you're a Judger, or a Sensor, or a Feeler. You still need to strive to overcome it. And, you need to be willing to step out of your comfort zone. You're an introvert? Then go ahead and make yourself be friendly and welcoming. You're an extrovert? Then go ahead and let your friend do the talking for once while you just listen. Third, stop judging others for differences. Don't assume someone else isn't as devoted to Christ because they don't raise their hands in worship. Don't assume someone else isn't sincere because they're flamboyant. Finally, use your strengths. Everyone has different gifts, right? Well, I think personalities play into that. You're a bold extrovert that's smart, determined, and strategic? Help out a ministry that needs just such a leader. You're an introvert that's great at listening, great at offering encouragement and advice? Be the person your friends can lean on, or be a counselor even. You're an extrovert with great people skills, lots of charisma, enthusiasm, and an overflowing heart? Make friends! Bring people to Christ! Share His love. You're an introvert who loves to work and serve but doesn't want any attention, who has great practical skills and work ethic? Find a way to work behind the scenes, cleaning or setting up or organizing in the background. Here's what I want you to take away from this: serving God and furthering His Kingdom isn't limited to door-to-door evangelism, nor to writing a bestselling Christian nonfiction book. Sometimes, it's just being that happy, bright, caring person that lights up the room with Christ's love. Sometimes, it's just being that gentle, loyal, supportive friend that's a quiet example of devotion and humility. So you're an introvert? You're an extrovert? Great. Now, how can that help you glorify God and serve others?
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